I wasn't prepared for this...

When I decided a few years ago to become a stay at home I knew it would present some challenges. At that time my friends didn't have kids yet so I was going to be the first to experience this wonderful stage of parenthood. I basically took one for the team, and volunteered happily. I remember being excited and full of ideas on how to be awesome at my new role.My kids were all in school, we had three at the time. Most of my days were filled with preparing for the evening alone, coffee dates with my best friend, going to the gym. I also had time to do things like my hair, shut the bathroom door, drink hot coffee... simple things really. As we planned to grow our family I was so overjoyed to get this second chance and not miss out on the things I missed with the older ones. Plus, babies. I LOVE babies!

Here we are with five kids now, teens to infants. I still love being home and raising my family. I started this blog and took on other hobbies for some "me" time. Some days though, it's hard. Like really hard, I'm not gonna lie. I love to read the fun blog posts, and some are more serious, about "things nobody told me about being a SAHM." Most of the time I can relate (and laugh along) to every single thing on the list. Lately I've been under some different stress so I'm bit emotional and take them to heart. I feel the frustration in these bloggers posts, I'm right there saying, "yes, yes mama! same here!" as I sip my wine. There are so many things nobody said to me, maybe because I was the first of my group to take the leap. I'm not saying that all of the things I've learned along the way are bad and stressful. I have gained so much from watching my family grow and not missing a beat. Here's the thing, I never miss a beat. I'm here for everything, as in I'm always here. For every tantrum, fit, diaper, earache, missing assignment, sleepless night, all the teething, he said/she said, unattended marker on the table... You see where I'm going with this? There are days when I want to jump in my car when I see my husband turn the corner. Except I don't for two reasons, I've missed him all day and I'm still in my pj's from the night before most days. My husband encourages me to take time for myself and get out to enjoy a quiet car ride or coffee with friends. I take him up on that every once in a while, but I also have a hard time leaving knowing that I'm needed by my teething baby at home.

Also, I was never told that I would grow to be so frustrated with the things I actually enjoy the most. I also never knew that was possible. I love being a stay at home mom more than anything I've ever done in my life. I also get so overwhelmed and frustrated with the thought of doing the same thing all over again tomorrow. Just when I get to my breaking point and feel like I wasn't cut out for this and that my fuse is too short for no real reason somebody does something that melts my heart. Something that reminds me why this was a life goal for me, to raise a big family. I know I'm lucky to be home, so don't take this post as complaining. Like most parents, I just need a moment to catch my breath and regroup.

I am never in a room alone for more than a few minutes. My toddler is a mama's boy and follows me all day. He also won't leave my bed. I want to sleep without a baby hanging off my neck. One day I know he will be in his bed... and not next to me. I won't hear "I'm your baby" in my ear every single night as he drifts off. My youngest is very much attached to me too. I know it changes eventually and I know I will miss these moments. Even if it feels like the weight of five kids is literally on my lap. Ok, maybe just two kids actually on me... I missed out on being home 24/7 before, so even having older kids before these babies I didn't realize this was something all stay at home parents go through. It's like a roller coaster of emotion coming from them, and myself.

Of all the things I am always here to deal with alone, like arguing teens, missed naps, meltdowns over a specific missing lego, I know there are so many more things I wouldn't miss for the world. The little voice yelling "mama" into the monitor, the excitement of my toddlers face when he finds a frog, watching them finally master something new, first steps, rocking a sleeping baby, hearing I love you all day, my teens trusting that I'll always be here to listen... mostly, just being here with them always.



One day it will be my husband and I looking back at all of this (over cocktails on a beach), knowing we accomplished so much in such a short time. These kids are growing up fast, I wouldn't want to miss it. I just wish somebody would've told me to brace myself for this crazy life. Not that a warning would've even helped me to understand what I was in for. I am still learning to embrace the chaos and soak up the little moments along the way. The peaceful breaks in our day where I can watch my kids enjoy our home and life together, (with hot coffee) remind me why I love being home with my family.

Am I doing this right?

It's hard to get the words out, but I need to say it out loud. I know I'm not alone in the way I feel, so many parents are going through this very same thing right now... I have a teenage daughter, I'm the mom of high school student now. There, I said it! Now let me tell you why this is difficult for me.

Pasta in a Pinch!

It should come as no surprise that dinner time can be hectic over here at our house. We usually have at least one kid mad at what's on the menu, there's tears (sometimes from me), spills, the occasional over toasted bread and often feeding kids at different times. This is why finding meals that can be started earlier in the day and left alone is helpful. I can't rely on the crock-pot everyday though. I keep a few tricks up my sleeve for hectic days, or for when I forget to thaw something. This happens more than I care to admit... Luckily, with a good recipe and a little pretending to have my s*** together nobody questions my skills for raising a big family!

I want to start by telling you a little story of how I came upon the recipe I'm going to share. A few years ago I was having a few health issues and my doctor discovered that I actually had diabetes. Type 2 diabetes, which explained why everything else was happening. Needless to say I had to make some changes fast, I had a family depending on me. It started with what should be the easiest thing, but for most of us changing our diet is not easy at all. I'm one of those people! I cut out drinking pop, well I switched to diet because cutting it out was/is too much at once! At this same time in my life my Husband and I decided that my heart was no longer in the salon, but at home with my kids. I started cooking with fresh ingredients, making my own dishes instead instant and prepared foods. Since pasta is clearly the food that makes life worth living I had to figure out a way, besides portion control, to be able to enjoy it. After a few years of working with different ingredients and measurements I have a simple, go to sauce recipe!

Making this sauce is a lifesaver when I am in a pinch, or even when I actually have my life together as far as dinner planning. I took pieces from different recipes and went off how we like our pasta sauce. Friends and family actually ask for my advice when making their own sauce, imagine that! Don't get me wrong, I still have one child that is mad when it's cooking. He's a very picky eater, but he likes the sauce when I don't add meat. So, this post is a meatless sauce recipe but you can easily include a protein into it. I love to start this red sauce earlier in the day and let it simmer for a bit. If it's really early I just turn it off and warm it before serving it. I also adjust the sweetness and/or garlic depending on the type of pasta I'm making with it. Wanna know how to get your sauce started!?

I like to get the ingredients ready and prepped to make it even easier. My daughter and toddler like to help with this part too!

1 sweet onion, chopped. (if it's too big I freeze some chopped bits for another night)
1 can of each- tomato sauce (14 oz.), diced tomatoes (14 oz.) tomato paste (6 oz)
1 tbsp of each- basil, oregano, onion powder, sugar, salt
2-4 garlic cloves (chopped, pressed, grated, however you like)
1/4 tsp pepper
1 can of water (the 14 oz)
2 tbsp of olive oil
1.5 pounds of ground beef or turkey (optional)

If you're using ground meat you'll want to get that browned first before these steps.

Warm the oilve oil, add chopped onions and simmer until they start to look a bit transparent.
Add your garlic.
Add the tomato paste, stir into onions until it loosens up.
Add seasonings, stir.
Add diced tomatoes, juice and all. stir.
Add tomato sauce, stir. Quickly add the water so it doesn't start to bubble everywhere.
Once it starts to simmer, turn it down to low and cover it. I let it simmer for about 20-30 minutes.

*I adjust the spices and sweetness sometimes so it works with all the pasta dishes that call for red sauce. My husband is not a fan of garlic so I adjust that also when I need to.

This sauce is so good, and so simple. It's also pretty easy to make it your own. We have added grilled chicken, ground meat, bell peppers, mushrooms and chili flakes before. Don't be afraid to zest it up in anyway you'd like! I hope you find this sauce as good as I do! It makes great leftovers too! The kids like to make mini pizzas with it after a meatless pasta night.

**The meatballs were packaged at Sam's club, not homemade!

My Ipsy Experience

I did it! I finally signed up for an Ipsy Glam Bag subscription. I'm not sure what took me so long either. I mean, I love make up and I might even love new bags more. Just because I'm a stay at home mom doesn't mean I can't glam it up once in a while... right? I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my glam on and a quick new make up fix with this subscription. June was only my first month with it so I can't compare it to much yet, but I can tell you I already love it.

If you're not sure what an Ipsy Glam Bag is yet, let me tell you so you can get yours going. Every month you'll receive a new cosmetic bag that goes with their theme for that month. The bag is customized just for you according to the profile that you will fill out before ordering. Each month the super cool bag is filled with five products. Ipsy also offers special deals on products and brands that they work with to get you these awesome samples. You can pay per month or for a full year, monthly it's $10. That's it! Not bad right? You can cancel at anytime too if it's just not your thing. One of the best features, besides make up in a bag obviously is that they have an app! You take care of all things Ipsy here and you can track shipping, get sneak peeks and customize your profile again. They also give you points for reviewing them and the products that you can redeem for more products later on!

So for the honest truth on their customer service... They don't have a number you can call, only an email. Let me tell you, they respond fast! I was a bit impressed at how quick and willing to help they are. My June bag came damaged. The hair product inside came open somehow and ruined a few items and stained the bag. Ipsy Care didn't hesitate to help me and my replacement items are already being shipped! I don't know about you guys, but I love when a company is on top of stuff like that. Impressive, Ipsy.

I'm pretty happy with the sizes of all the things in my bag this month!


So, I didn't get a chance to use and review all of the items yet with some being damaged, but it was all great stuff! The bag design was really fun this month, bright colors always make me happy. They nailed it with the lip color- RED! You all know how I feel about red lipstick. The beach spray was a good pick too, it actually worked on my flat hair! As I get to try the rest of the stuff out I will post the looks and a review. I was really eager to tell you all about how they rock with customer service. I'm looking forward to getting my July bag!

Don't forget to check out my Instagram page for more pictures with these products!

Simple Side Dish

I love cooking and coming up with new recipes to add to the menu, but now that summer is here I find myself wanting to make an easy no fuss dinner. Probably because by the time dinner rolls around I'm wore out from keeping the kids busy all day. I'm gonna be honest, I'm not the most organized when it comes to meal planning in the summer either! That's why I love having a simple go to recipe that my family actually enjoys. I never really thought this rice was a big deal until I married my husband. It's something I started making to compliment all of my taco and burrito cravings at 18 years old. Since then I have added a few ingredients here and there depending on how fancy I'm feeling for dinner.

Last night was one of those nights that I wanted something good, but fast. I went with some chicken and black bean burritos, and of course this easy rice side dish. The kids always know when a Mexican dish is on it's way when they smell the rice getting "toasty" in the pot. My daughter also gets excited because there's not much left to clean up after since they empty the bowl!

The essentials are pretty minimal to make this dish, which my kids call "taco rice." The cook time is about 30 minutes, but the best part is once you pop the lid on you don't have to do anything else until it's done! Seriously, just let it cook while you set the table and grab a drink!

This amount feeds my family of 7 (until the babies eat more!)

1 cup of white rice
2 tbsp vegetable oil
2 tsp of tomato bullion
2 cups of water

Optional add ins: corn, peppers, onions, beans, salsa.
*When adding something like salsa be sure to include the amount with the liquid measurement.

I started adding corn after my husband had rice at a restaurant that did theirs this way, he loved it! The kids seem to enjoy it more too so that's a plus! When I feel fancy I throw in black beans and onions too. When adding the veggies always add them first to the warm oil before the rice. Here's how I did this bowl...

Heat the oil over medium/high heat
Add 1 cup of corn, stir.
Once the corn is hot and lightly sizzling add your rice.
Heat until it smells toasty, add bullion, stir.
Add the water and bring to a boil.
Turn heat to low/simmer and cover with a lid.
Cook for 30 minutes, turn heat off. If you have a minute to let it steam go ahead. I do for about 5 minutes before fluffing with a fork.

It couldn't be any easier! This is my most requested side dish around here. Even when guests say they don't usually eat rice, they go back for more! I hope that you give this a try and enjoy it! My family is already asking when we can have the burritos again now too, I may have to post that recipe soon!

Balancing My Time

Since the kids have been home for summer break I'm finding it hard to balance my time. I had a nice routine down that allowed me some time to work on my stuff like the blog, my Jamberry business and a few other things I like to enjoy for myself. I'm trying to entertain the kids and make sure their day is filled with different activities. I also need to keep things on a schedule, flexible but still the basic routine to make sure we get dinner and baths on time. Somewhere along the way I forgot that I could use a minute of downtime to focus on me. I'm not talking a spa day, just maybe 15 minutes on the computer, finishing my coffee or a minute for my nails.

I need to figure out a way to make sure everyone feels like they are getting to make the most of summer. We recently found a beach that is just a four minute drive from our house! We are all excited to try it and spend the day enjoying the water and sand. We also like to cook on the grill and eat on the deck together, it's how we spend most summer evenings. Finding things to keep everyone busy is not an issue, it's finding things that they can do while I get some work done that seems to be a challenge. Finding things that don't end in "I'm bored" after ten minutes is also a plus! Obviously with five kids having such different personalities, from teens to infants it's going to be hard to keep everyone occupied and happy at one time. Which is why I am laying some ground rules for the summer.

We all need the same things in our day to help us feel our best- physical activity, mental activity, independent play/work time and to do something we can all enjoy together! I have to get a better handle on how all of that happens in a day. If I don't we are in for a long summer of bickering kids and a crabby, exhausted mom! I already put together a list of things I'd like to do this summer in our area, you can see it here. I have mentally added more ideas this past week too. What the kids don't know is that their days will change soon, they'll thank me later. Right?

At the end of the year teachers send home final reports and it usually includes some things they need to work on over the summer. While I'm working on the computer a few times a week they will be working on those things for next year. Twenty minutes surely won't ruin their summer vacation, although they might act like it. The baby will nap at this time and my toddler will have time for a game on his ipad. Everybody will win! After that torture they will be ready for what comes next I'm sure- fresh air!

One of the things I need to make time for is going for a walk or jog. I would put the babies in the double stroller and walk around the lake every morning. With everyone home I haven't done that. The older kids are perfectly capable of joining me, but it's an argument believe or not. Thomas needs to be pushed in his wheelchair and they want their bikes. That doesn't work and I don't feel like hearing them bicker so we stay home. I decided today that I'm going to just make them suck it up, and I'll deal with the dirty looks. We could all benefit from the walking and they can take their bikes on the days that Thomas will have class. Once they get out in the fresh air they will be fine, we used to walk all the time in the evening. My husband works late now so we fell out of our routine for a while.

Once a week we will fit in something like the beach, zoo or something else on that list I made. It's important to me to have time to go out and enjoy a family day. When my husband is home on the weekends we like him to get in on the fun so we try to plan some day trips around town or cook a meal together. Finding balance in a big family is hard sometimes, but so important. Even though we like to enjoy each other's company it's necessary to fit in our "me time" throughout the week.

Everybody needs some downtime to do something alone, it's refreshing. Right now is proof that a little quiet time goes a long way. I have a baby napping while the other kids watch a show and color in the play room and I'm actually working on some blog posts! It will be lunchtime before I know it and kids will be yelling about being bored. Time to put our new summer plan into action and get them moving before they start arguing again.

Our Garden Update

I wrote about our new greenhouse not too long ago and was hoping for a big update by now. I really wanted to show all of you some major veggies and awesome recipes that I have planned. It turns out, even gardening doesn't go as planned! Since this is a blog about my crazy life though I thought it was a safe place to share the real life stuff that isn't always Instagram perfect... Even though I'm a big fan of that too!

Since we started the garden in a spot that turned out to be the shadiest part of our yard we had to relocate the whole greenhouse. That was the easy part! We noticed that our bell peppers are not loving life here on our wanna be farm. I think, after reading more about peppers, they were getting too much water. I also learned that the soil may not be right for them. The first few started out strong but didn't make it, so we picked them and have new ones coming up now. I'm hoping we get the hang of these delicious veggies soon. I'd love to stock my freezer up for fajitas!

The jalapenos seem to be doing great! We were able to pick quite a few off and use them for spicy chicken tacos. My little guy was so excited to go pick them, although he didn't want to eat them of course. I have a feeling we will have a lot of these peppers for the summer. I do wish they were a little hotter though, I like a little heat sometimes!

I was most excited about the tomatoes since I am always eating them on salads and making fresh sauces. We had to replace one of the plants because it didn't like being replanted. The greenhouse was definitely built to grow tomatoes! The cherry tomatoes are coming in fast now that we moved them. We have some pretty big beef steak tomatoes coming up now too! I can't wait to slice them up and put them on burgers! I'm sure I will have some good recipes to share with all of you soon.

The basil is ready to be put to good use soon too, it smells amazing when you unlock the door to head in. My onions are getting tall and I hope they exactly what I'm planning for. I love cooking with onions, I also chop and freeze them for quick recipe add ins for rice or sauce. Garlic is also growing out there, I'm eager to pick that! According to my research, it's not ready yet. Garlic is another one of those things I love to have on hand and I find that it freezes well for later use.

Even though I'm not running my own produce stand from my driveway I am enjoying the attempt at my mini produce shop! The kids think it's pretty cool when I bring in a handful of fresh ingredients to add in a salad or toss into pasta. We are calling this our practice run and hoping that next year is better! It's still early, so who knows what might grow out there! I'm on my way out now to check everything out!

What kind of things grow best for you? I'd love to know!