I wasn't prepared for this...

When I decided a few years ago to become a stay at home I knew it would present some challenges. At that time my friends didn't have kids yet so I was going to be the first to experience this wonderful stage of parenthood. I basically took one for the team, and volunteered happily. I remember being excited and full of ideas on how to be awesome at my new role.My kids were all in school, we had three at the time. Most of my days were filled with preparing for the evening alone, coffee dates with my best friend, going to the gym. I also had time to do things like my hair, shut the bathroom door, drink hot coffee... simple things really. As we planned to grow our family I was so overjoyed to get this second chance and not miss out on the things I missed with the older ones. Plus, babies. I LOVE babies!

Here we are with five kids now, teens to infants. I still love being home and raising my family. I started this blog and took on other hobbies for some "me" time. Some days though, it's hard. Like really hard, I'm not gonna lie. I love to read the fun blog posts, and some are more serious, about "things nobody told me about being a SAHM." Most of the time I can relate (and laugh along) to every single thing on the list. Lately I've been under some different stress so I'm bit emotional and take them to heart. I feel the frustration in these bloggers posts, I'm right there saying, "yes, yes mama! same here!" as I sip my wine. There are so many things nobody said to me, maybe because I was the first of my group to take the leap. I'm not saying that all of the things I've learned along the way are bad and stressful. I have gained so much from watching my family grow and not missing a beat. Here's the thing, I never miss a beat. I'm here for everything, as in I'm always here. For every tantrum, fit, diaper, earache, missing assignment, sleepless night, all the teething, he said/she said, unattended marker on the table... You see where I'm going with this? There are days when I want to jump in my car when I see my husband turn the corner. Except I don't for two reasons, I've missed him all day and I'm still in my pj's from the night before most days. My husband encourages me to take time for myself and get out to enjoy a quiet car ride or coffee with friends. I take him up on that every once in a while, but I also have a hard time leaving knowing that I'm needed by my teething baby at home.

Also, I was never told that I would grow to be so frustrated with the things I actually enjoy the most. I also never knew that was possible. I love being a stay at home mom more than anything I've ever done in my life. I also get so overwhelmed and frustrated with the thought of doing the same thing all over again tomorrow. Just when I get to my breaking point and feel like I wasn't cut out for this and that my fuse is too short for no real reason somebody does something that melts my heart. Something that reminds me why this was a life goal for me, to raise a big family. I know I'm lucky to be home, so don't take this post as complaining. Like most parents, I just need a moment to catch my breath and regroup.

I am never in a room alone for more than a few minutes. My toddler is a mama's boy and follows me all day. He also won't leave my bed. I want to sleep without a baby hanging off my neck. One day I know he will be in his bed... and not next to me. I won't hear "I'm your baby" in my ear every single night as he drifts off. My youngest is very much attached to me too. I know it changes eventually and I know I will miss these moments. Even if it feels like the weight of five kids is literally on my lap. Ok, maybe just two kids actually on me... I missed out on being home 24/7 before, so even having older kids before these babies I didn't realize this was something all stay at home parents go through. It's like a roller coaster of emotion coming from them, and myself.

Of all the things I am always here to deal with alone, like arguing teens, missed naps, meltdowns over a specific missing lego, I know there are so many more things I wouldn't miss for the world. The little voice yelling "mama" into the monitor, the excitement of my toddlers face when he finds a frog, watching them finally master something new, first steps, rocking a sleeping baby, hearing I love you all day, my teens trusting that I'll always be here to listen... mostly, just being here with them always.



One day it will be my husband and I looking back at all of this (over cocktails on a beach), knowing we accomplished so much in such a short time. These kids are growing up fast, I wouldn't want to miss it. I just wish somebody would've told me to brace myself for this crazy life. Not that a warning would've even helped me to understand what I was in for. I am still learning to embrace the chaos and soak up the little moments along the way. The peaceful breaks in our day where I can watch my kids enjoy our home and life together, (with hot coffee) remind me why I love being home with my family.

Am I doing this right?

It's hard to get the words out, but I need to say it out loud. I know I'm not alone in the way I feel, so many parents are going through this very same thing right now... I have a teenage daughter, I'm the mom of high school student now. There, I said it! Now let me tell you why this is difficult for me.

Pasta in a Pinch!

It should come as no surprise that dinner time can be hectic over here at our house. We usually have at least one kid mad at what's on the menu, there's tears (sometimes from me), spills, the occasional over toasted bread and often feeding kids at different times. This is why finding meals that can be started earlier in the day and left alone is helpful. I can't rely on the crock-pot everyday though. I keep a few tricks up my sleeve for hectic days, or for when I forget to thaw something. This happens more than I care to admit... Luckily, with a good recipe and a little pretending to have my s*** together nobody questions my skills for raising a big family!

I want to start by telling you a little story of how I came upon the recipe I'm going to share. A few years ago I was having a few health issues and my doctor discovered that I actually had diabetes. Type 2 diabetes, which explained why everything else was happening. Needless to say I had to make some changes fast, I had a family depending on me. It started with what should be the easiest thing, but for most of us changing our diet is not easy at all. I'm one of those people! I cut out drinking pop, well I switched to diet because cutting it out was/is too much at once! At this same time in my life my Husband and I decided that my heart was no longer in the salon, but at home with my kids. I started cooking with fresh ingredients, making my own dishes instead instant and prepared foods. Since pasta is clearly the food that makes life worth living I had to figure out a way, besides portion control, to be able to enjoy it. After a few years of working with different ingredients and measurements I have a simple, go to sauce recipe!

Making this sauce is a lifesaver when I am in a pinch, or even when I actually have my life together as far as dinner planning. I took pieces from different recipes and went off how we like our pasta sauce. Friends and family actually ask for my advice when making their own sauce, imagine that! Don't get me wrong, I still have one child that is mad when it's cooking. He's a very picky eater, but he likes the sauce when I don't add meat. So, this post is a meatless sauce recipe but you can easily include a protein into it. I love to start this red sauce earlier in the day and let it simmer for a bit. If it's really early I just turn it off and warm it before serving it. I also adjust the sweetness and/or garlic depending on the type of pasta I'm making with it. Wanna know how to get your sauce started!?

I like to get the ingredients ready and prepped to make it even easier. My daughter and toddler like to help with this part too!

1 sweet onion, chopped. (if it's too big I freeze some chopped bits for another night)
1 can of each- tomato sauce (14 oz.), diced tomatoes (14 oz.) tomato paste (6 oz)
1 tbsp of each- basil, oregano, onion powder, sugar, salt
2-4 garlic cloves (chopped, pressed, grated, however you like)
1/4 tsp pepper
1 can of water (the 14 oz)
2 tbsp of olive oil
1.5 pounds of ground beef or turkey (optional)

If you're using ground meat you'll want to get that browned first before these steps.

Warm the oilve oil, add chopped onions and simmer until they start to look a bit transparent.
Add your garlic.
Add the tomato paste, stir into onions until it loosens up.
Add seasonings, stir.
Add diced tomatoes, juice and all. stir.
Add tomato sauce, stir. Quickly add the water so it doesn't start to bubble everywhere.
Once it starts to simmer, turn it down to low and cover it. I let it simmer for about 20-30 minutes.

*I adjust the spices and sweetness sometimes so it works with all the pasta dishes that call for red sauce. My husband is not a fan of garlic so I adjust that also when I need to.

This sauce is so good, and so simple. It's also pretty easy to make it your own. We have added grilled chicken, ground meat, bell peppers, mushrooms and chili flakes before. Don't be afraid to zest it up in anyway you'd like! I hope you find this sauce as good as I do! It makes great leftovers too! The kids like to make mini pizzas with it after a meatless pasta night.

**The meatballs were packaged at Sam's club, not homemade!

My Ipsy Experience

I did it! I finally signed up for an Ipsy Glam Bag subscription. I'm not sure what took me so long either. I mean, I love make up and I might even love new bags more. Just because I'm a stay at home mom doesn't mean I can't glam it up once in a while... right? I'm pretty sure I'll be able to get my glam on and a quick new make up fix with this subscription. June was only my first month with it so I can't compare it to much yet, but I can tell you I already love it.

If you're not sure what an Ipsy Glam Bag is yet, let me tell you so you can get yours going. Every month you'll receive a new cosmetic bag that goes with their theme for that month. The bag is customized just for you according to the profile that you will fill out before ordering. Each month the super cool bag is filled with five products. Ipsy also offers special deals on products and brands that they work with to get you these awesome samples. You can pay per month or for a full year, monthly it's $10. That's it! Not bad right? You can cancel at anytime too if it's just not your thing. One of the best features, besides make up in a bag obviously is that they have an app! You take care of all things Ipsy here and you can track shipping, get sneak peeks and customize your profile again. They also give you points for reviewing them and the products that you can redeem for more products later on!

So for the honest truth on their customer service... They don't have a number you can call, only an email. Let me tell you, they respond fast! I was a bit impressed at how quick and willing to help they are. My June bag came damaged. The hair product inside came open somehow and ruined a few items and stained the bag. Ipsy Care didn't hesitate to help me and my replacement items are already being shipped! I don't know about you guys, but I love when a company is on top of stuff like that. Impressive, Ipsy.

I'm pretty happy with the sizes of all the things in my bag this month!


So, I didn't get a chance to use and review all of the items yet with some being damaged, but it was all great stuff! The bag design was really fun this month, bright colors always make me happy. They nailed it with the lip color- RED! You all know how I feel about red lipstick. The beach spray was a good pick too, it actually worked on my flat hair! As I get to try the rest of the stuff out I will post the looks and a review. I was really eager to tell you all about how they rock with customer service. I'm looking forward to getting my July bag!

Don't forget to check out my Instagram page for more pictures with these products!