What a weekend! My husband surprised me with a last minute date night on Friday. We went to a concert outside, the weather was perfect! We had such a fun night and much needed break from our regular routine. It was a nice way to start Father's Day weekend.
I won't lie when I say I have been dreading this holiday for a month. The week leading up to it was pretty rough for me, and my siblings too I'm sure. We lost our Dad in early March this year. My husband and the kids went with me on Saturday to plant a rose bush for my Dad. I had so many things I wanted to say to him, but once I got there I lost all words. People say you will just know when he is there, you'll feel your loved one all around. I waited for that feeling, but it never came. I didn't feel that closeness in that exact spot. I do feel him quite often, all around and at odd times. It's almost like he's still trying to pull off his surprise trips back home. My Dad lived out of state so he was always just making unannounced trips back to Michigan. I decided to just not say anything. It's not something that can or should be forced. I carry a small amount of ashes in a beautiful urn necklace when I need to feel close to him, so I feel like "visiting" the family lot isn't the only way to connect with memories of him. It's taking a lot longer to heal and find peace than I expected. I know I will eventually, it wasn't going to be this Father's Day though. Even though my time with him was incredibly short, I do feel lucky knowing that I was able to see a side of him not many knew. He taught me lessons that he probably never knew he did, he also let me know how much I was loved even from so far away. Even if most days I complained about the distance between us. I spent a lot of years missing him and will continue missing him, just in a different way now. My siblings and I have grown closer again, which my Dad would've wanted. I'm thankful that we have each other, especially on holidays like this when we all knew the Dad side of him. With so many things left unsaid I just hope he felt the love this Sunday as we celebrated him in our own way, making special memories with our own families.
Father's Day was also a day to celebrate another special Dad in my life. Although he's not my Dad, he is the greatest Dad I could have asked for-for my kids. Kevin is a wonderful husband and I'm so lucky to know him as a Dad. When we met we both had kids already, as I said we are a blended family. We have two more sweet babies now. Our family is crazy, loud, stressful and full of love. He handles it like he was born to do this job! I love seeing him play with the babies, helping with homework and all the other stuff that exhausts me by dinnertime. The kids and I like to make him gifts with meaning, I think he actually looks forward to getting these gifts too. This year I was impressed with how well they pulled it off, and without tears or a fight! We painted a canvas and filled a heart with thumbprints each in a different color. After adding a poem and some ribbon we have art work that is living room wall worthy! They were so excited to wrap our surprises and plan his breakfast. I am pretty proud of our family and the bond we have. My husband and I make a great team and I think our kids are learning great things to take with them when they have a family. I spent a lot of time sad and missing my Dad these last few days. Our kids were able to see their Dad with a new appreciation and celebrate having such a loving guy in their lives.
No comments:
Post a Comment